WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

Once upon a time, we had four back-to-back house showings starting in twenty minutes, and so, one child kicked a soccer ball through the “For Sale” sign, knocking it to the (place where there should be grass) ground, WHILE the other kid broke into the vanity in the bathroom and took my black eye-liner I had just bought, because sometimes I want nice things, and drew all over her entire face with it in a way that would one day haunt her if she were to become Canadian Prime Minister.

Keeping a house clean enough to show to strangers you are hoping to trick into buying it is challenging during a pandemic when the kids are always here and they are just so, so, so very kid-like.

Also, this is the poor dog’s face all of the time.

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